Rrrrrt!

That's a common sound heard in our house, but you have to say it while skidding across the kitchen floor in your socks, right before you run into someone, something or fall over. Now it is screeched while driving our new (used) race car. At least until you encounter road[yard]-kill. :)

Dirty Tissues and Dead Possums

This weekend has been interesting already. Ian is excited that he gets so many days off from school and is celebrating by watching movies at bedtime (this is forbidden on school nights) and by asking for popsicles every 5 minutes. Since popsicles are better than asking for fruit snacks and cookies, etc, it's usually a yes. But today we had church so there's only a total of 3 for today. And of course Erin wants one and I have to have one. The only thing upsetting about this is the fact that Freezie Pops are "seasonal" and there won't be any more when these are gone. :(
Another annoying thing is seasonal as well. Bubbles. Erin got a battery operated Elmo Bubble machine for her birthday and it only works with Gazillion bubbles.


This is an expensive brand, but it is different from the average formula. We know this because when we ran out of the small bottle that came with the machine (which lasted for a surprisingly long time) we tried the normal kind of bubbles, the kind that comes in the huge plastic bottle for $3. Elmo started foaming at the mouth and the bubble wand began drooling like a mouthful of novocaine. Nope, that won't work.
Thus began the Great Search for Bubbles. Everywhere we've gone we hear the same: "Bubbles are a seasonal item; if they're not on clearance, we're out." Clearance? Whine! The only thing left on clearance was a Gazillion bubbles Bubble Grill. I've never seen a grill that bubbles. Uh....must be why they're still on clearance.
We looked online. They're out of stock and the big bottle is $15 at Target anyway. We'll wait until Walmart stocks it again and buy it for $7.83 and have it shipped site-to-store for free. Sheesh! So poor Elmo sits in the corner of the room, gathering dust and watching everyone have fun without him [cue violins]. And all because some childless hotshot in Bentonville (AR, the headquarters for Walmart) decided that bubble season ends July 31 (????!!!!).
The kids' colds are slowly getting better, though Ian has decided that he is big enough to blow his own nose. Of course he has to use 15 tissues when he sneezes and then leaves them in his room on the floor because it's way to gross to hold them long enough to get to a trash can. So Ian's room is rather white. I'm very glad I got him the cheap tissues, rather than buying the Vicks ones (those are nice, by the way, but I don't usually sit there and breathe in the tissue before I use it; I usually can't smell anything, thus the need for tissues, but it's a nice concept).
Erin just wipes her nose on the nearest sleeve and grins. She just lets you think that she wanted to cuddle. Sheesh. It's always helpful to check your sleeve before you leave the house, because you might need to change your shirt...
My HC had to work late (or very early?) last night and ended up sleeping very late today. I wandered outside to check on the dogs and noticed a new lawn ornament: a dead possum. My HC was summarily dispatched to dispose of the offending article. He picked it up by the tail and flung it over the back fence. Buddy looked on smugly, the conquering hero of unwanted yard guests.





Berry looked aggravated that he had to sit there and watch Buddy terminate and get all the credit for the little booger.


My HC's schedule is changing tomorrow and we'll be on straight 3-11s. Yay! No more getting home in the wee smas! Scratch that. No more being Scheduled to get home in the wee smas! That's better.



So tomorrow is Labor Day and Jeff Foxworthy said that it's the unofficial End of Summer. I guess it is because there was nothing on TV last night except for football. Sigh. I guess summer really is over. You can't even buy bubbles.
But it's hard to think off all that when it's still hot enough to swim in the pool. And the mosquitoes are still out in clouds. Big nasty ones too. I was listening to Jeff Foxworthy on the radio (hey, he's funny!) and Larry the Cable guy came on. They were talking about the mosquitos too. Larry the CG said he saw a mosquito so big it had a tick on it. Eeeek. I believe it; the mosquitos are so big here they thump against the sliding glass doors. Then again, Larry the CG also said he was looking for tube socks and a rubber band for his grandma's homemade bikini contest at the bowling alley. Let that one simmer for a while.

I'm Makin' Waffles

Well, I caught the cold that everyone else has had and am very coughy and runny (no Blue Beast for me, thank the Lord) and bleary-eyed.

But we got our waffle iron yesterday from UPS. While I was racing around the house trying to find some pants (hey, it was early!), Ian calmly opened the door, received the package, said "Thank You!" and brought it to me, wildly flailing about in my room trying to stuff both my legs in the same leg hole with no success. Baffled, I looked at Ian with the box in his hands and then looked out the window to see the back side of the UPS truck as it drove away. Uh...okay. So we have our waffle iron and this morning, fever or no fever, we had waffles! And just to be clear about this, Ian ate 3. I made a bit of a mess, since this is the first time I've used one of these (just the one at CCC in Cathcart and those waffles are huge). But we are slowly making our way through our 2 half gallons of Mrs Butterworth that we got from Sam's.

For house selling news, we are still trying to keep the house clean just in case Coldwell Banker calls about showings. Chris and I joked last night that we would have 2 showings on the day when I was the sickest and didn't feel like doing anything. We'll see. I feel somewhat better after showering. Good thing, because tonight is our group trip to Golden Corral in Fayetteville and I need to be able to eat my money's worth. :) Gotta review my spanish though, because all the grillmasters and buffet workers there are spanish and you need to know how to convey medium, rare, etc or you'll get a rubbery, overdone steak.

For our neighborhood excitement for the week, the next door neighbor's pitbull snapped his line again and had some sort of altercation with the trash guy. So Chris was summoned and almost got to tase the dog (which is better than the family getting sued for the dog messing someone up), but the dog was picked up by animal control before he got to. Ms Geraldine, the old lady across the street, called to tell me about it, since Chris had to leave to deal with an accident involving a Rent-a-Center truck backing up over someone's car. Ms Geraldine told me first that the dog bit the trash guy, but changed it to "he like ta bit that trash man" so I wasn't sure what exactly had happened. This isn't the first time the dog has snapped his line and he is very territorial, as we have found because we live next door. Eek.

We also got Buddy's Frontline and I'm excited about having a flea-free dog, since he will be in the Jeep with us on the trip down to FL. And he will then be outside at whoever's house, so flea-free is a great thing, with spring/summer coming on.

Well, we've got errands to do today. The usual bank, post office, KK's (Kwik Kountry) for gas, the library if the books I ordered are in, etc. I told Chris last night at bedtime that if we move too soon, I'll have to cancel all my book requests (sob, sob!). He didn't look very disturbed or concerned by this announcement. I don't see how he can be so unfeeling. I've been waiting since December for a couple of these books, since I'm #2 in the queue. Hmph. But that's okay, it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.

Oh, and yesterday, while Chris was serving warrants, one of those interesting citizens, reeking of interesting odors, asked Chris if our house really was "fer sell." Chris told him that it was. "So where ya movin' to next then?" "Florida!" That got his attention. "Really now?" Chris assured him. "Yes, as soon as our house sells, you won't have to deal with me any more." The man practically jumped into Chris's arms. "I KNOW SOMEONE WHO'S LOOKIN' FER A HOUSE!" he shouted. "Well, we've got a sign out front with a number on it," Chris told him. Chris is very confident that the house will sell soon, even if all the dopers get together and everyone puts 1,000 bucks in. I am very amused by this prospect and we are waiting to see what will happen.

There's always the joked about option of putting a jar in the local gas stations "Help Goforth Move!"

Feeling fuzzy, and I'm not talking about my legs

Yep, there comes a time when the day after starts getting hazy, like trying to look through heat waves on asphalt and the world around you just starts to look all wavy-looking and it's time to sit in the shade for a while. After 2.4 hours of sleep, it's the night after and it's time for me to sit down. The morning was rocky, since Ian got up at 7am and was very bright-eyed, as he usually is. Erin still woke up about every hour, crying and straining and gassing up a storm. She had three potty diapers today (none loose, so that's good)* and finally stopped crying so much when we went to the park. She snoozed while I wheeled the stroller around the track as much as Ian would let me without having to go rescue him from the top bar of the jungle gym and help him go down the 'fire pole.' It was very chilly, even though the sun was shining and I was ready to go way before Ian was, but he was such a good boy this morning while Mommy zombied about and Daddy mimed being awake before taking the baby and snoring with her in the chair (it was so cute I had to go lie down). Ian played video games and played trains by himself, probably happy for the uninterrupted play time (you know how Moms like to nag when you're just getting to the good part of your book, game, video game, movie, train track, car ramp, etc.). Anyway, since it wasn't too awfully bad outside (the sun was shining! We who are not in Florida salute the sun whenever it comes out!), we went to the park. Anything to get Erin to stop crying and catch up on her beauty sleep. She did not want any food today that was not milk, even though I tried.

The bonus part of the day came when I was in the shower, trying to remember if I had shampooed my hair or not and the phone rang. It was our real estate agent, giving us an update. From what Chris told me, when the agents do a company walk-through, they bring a checklist and afterwards tell the seller what they can do to improve the house to sell faster. Our house made it through with flying colors with only one infraction and all agreed that the house was well priced and expected to not be on the market long (HOO Ha!). Our improvement was that the laundry room/possible 3rd bedroom/Ian's train room was drafty and there was condensation on the sliding glass doors. Therefore it was decreed that we should put real doors there instead of the sliders for better insulation. I agree, but we are not about to fork over 5 or 6 hundred smackeroos when it's going to sell anyway. I don't like the sliders either because they freeze shut and lock behind you when you shut the door (see previous post for eye-rolling details), but oh well. Our agent also told us that she has had 4 calls to inquire about our house from the sign out front as well as one person from out of state contact her after seeing it online who is interested in seeing it [or just buy it and pay us an extra $15,000 to be out in ten days; what movie was that from? Father of the Bride II. hahahahahahahahaha. Ok, getting tired) in the next week or two. Either way, she said to expect more showings (that doesn't sound right) in the next week or so.

Chris is having me check our bank account daily (hourly, minutely (I know that's not right. I'm not THAT tired, but it just sounded funny), whatever) to see whether or not his Florida Dept of Law Enforcement (FDLE) application to transfer his academy time to FL has been processed. We figure that they'll cash the check before they do anything else and I guess someone's on vacation or something because it's probably still sitting in somebody's inbox (or worse, still sitting in the Westville Post Office underneath something) begging to be opened. Now, I know, I know, they tell you to give them 6 weeks for processing, but come on! It's been almost two weeks already. Chris is excited and worried that he went to the one academy in the known world that doesn't transfer. Silly.

Regardless, he is still having me check the post office every day without fail, a sure sign that he is excited, because if it were up to him, he would check it once a week and the mail would be stuffed in the box like intestines are stuffed in the body, once you get them out, it's about impossible to get them all back in* (we tried in A & P lab, didn't we Rachel?). We have decided that at our new house in FL, we really would like to have a mailbox. Really.

For Papaw's amusement, Ian compensated for not being able to pee in the Walmart bathroom drain by peeing in the bathtub drain today while I was rinsing out the tub before bathtime. He was very proud of himself. He also made an attempt to sit on the toilet without his little potty seat, where he tried for a couple of seconds before grunting and announcing "I can't do it like this," and running out of the bathroom naked. The naked part didn't have anything to do with his potty preferences, he just likes to be aired out every once in a while, probably more so when it gets warmer. He is discovering the changes in his body parts due to changes in temperature and it is so much fun to relay these incidents to Chris later. It really gives us some good laughs. Can't help it if your kid is just so cute, can ya?

Anyway, back to the Baby Noodle. After the park, she conked out in the swing (after crying some more) and slept for more than 4 hours. I woke her up around 8:30 so she could eat (I was about to explode*...yikes) and then she was awake, sort of. She enjoyed having her diaper changed and really whooped it up in the tub. But I think her cold hit another stage because she is all red-eyed and bleary and just looks hung over (again, my concept of hangovers is completely general, since I have never had one and try to avoid others who do due to their sensitive natures during that time). After her bath, which was refreshing (those Soothing Vapors) but again, the bubbles just taste gross, because she kind of made a face and spit them out and didn't try them again (and yes, I did clean the tub thoroughly when Ian was finished, thank you very much). Then it was PJ time and hairbrushing time and feeding time some more (we had a lot there to consume) and then it was full bellytime. Kind of like puppies or kittens with their big full bellies taking a nap in a sunbeam except she was on my lap and lolling around all limp and sleepy. No wailing, I enjoyed it.

Yay! I thought. Chris gets off at 10. Well, around 10:20 he comes in and tells me that Berry (who went to work today) took a huge dump in the back of the patrol car (Berry is now grounded for a couple of days, at least) and it stunk so bad that both Chris and his rider were gagging and heaving. The situation was so desperate that Chris actually floored it and beat the train across the tracks in his rush to get home and hose out the backseat. Even after he had hosed out the dog cage, it Still Reeked. Berry is known for his intestinal problems. Chris came in still breathing deep through his nose, told me that his rider had suddenly remember other things he had to do, and grabbed the Febreeze air freshener and will probably empty the entire bottle in the car. This is one of those times you think, "better him than me!" and then feel bad for thinking it because you know that as soon as you start getting smug, one of the kids will take a dump on the floor and you'll be left to clean it up alone. But okay, I know I'm starting to get punchy. Thanks to everyone who have been praying for the kids (and me). We are on the mend! We have to be. I can't think anything else. Zzzz.

*This is where I put the disclaimer that not much grosses me out, so I will and do talk freely about various bodily functions and patterns. Apologies to the faint of heart.

Fiasco

It was late Saturday night and all through the house,


only Ian was stirring, watching Mickey Mouse.


Erin and I were nestled all snug in the bed, with a cute little paperback inches from my head.


And Chris in his cop car and ice on the ground, I was wondering if another blanket could be found.


When out from the yard there arose such a racket, I sprang from my bed, forgetting my jacket. And what to my wondering ears do I hear, but Buddy barking madly. What did he fear?


I ran to the back door, past the couch like a flash, tried to slide the door open but the ice held it fast.


The barking continued, I called my cop. Stay inside he ordered, I'll come make it stop.


Okay, I'll quit with the prose, but admit it, you were excessively diverted.


Anyway, if you're wondering what happened, Chris drove up and I went outside in my nightgown and slippers, wrapped in a throw. He and his rider got out (luckily it was a friend) and Chris went to the side of the house to see what Buddy was growling and howling at. It was a fluffy spitting cat. Chris jumped the fence and chased him out and the cat and Buddy went tearing around the yard. Google (the rider) and I went around to the gate to head the cat off. There was an altercation with Buddy and the cat on the far side of the house, in which Berry is released and goes loping past the whole thing. In other words, if there ain't no dope, you're on your own, Buddy. (Berry is Chris's drug dog and too well trained to chase felines.) Buddy sustained some mild injuries from the altercation, but then again, he did grab the cat by the head and launch him a few yards, just not high enough to clear the 6 foot fence. The cat let gravity take over and used his chance to streak to the porch. Google cornered him on the porch. The cat broke our front porch light fixture and scared himself back into the rose bush where he met more of Buddy. After two more attempts, the cat found an opening and took off past Google and past me (I thought for a moment he would seek refuge up my nightgown and yelped rather loudly, but that only served to make the cat run faster).


Buddy was patted over loudly and rubbed hard, declared the victor and got his bloody nose wiped off. I snuck him some bacon treats after Chris and Google left. What a good dog! He's so ferocious now that he's an outside dog! And he's lost weight too!!! Woo hoo! At least one of us has.



And that's the action from our house. At least for now. And Ian's stuffy nose and the distribution of nose juice....but that's another story.

A Buggy New Year

The first day of 2008 will forever be remembered as B-Day. Bug Bomb Day. Our resolution is to be a flea-free house with a flea-free Buddy (yeah, right, but we are eternally optimistic). After several failed attempts at flea eradication and being heartily sick of smushing the nasty little things, Buddy has been banned from the main part of the house and we are enjoying (Revelling in) being able to walk through the house shoeless without spraying ourselves down with Off Skintastic. Needless to say I enjoy not smelling pine fresh. I also enjoy not hearing Ian say "Itchy Mommy. I godda fee [Translation for those who don't speak Ianese: I've got a flea]."
And now we can return to the alternatve of putting the baby on the floor to play and resume locomotion lessons (chapter 2 in the book "How to be a Biped"). Which has inevitably heralded the return of the 'Crawling Is Fun' Winnie the Pooh, who simpers that and other choice phrases while he crawls across the room, sending Ian barrelling at me to hide behind my legs and peer at it from the safety of my knees. He never has liked that toy.
Ever since the batteries went on it and it started warbling in a deep slow-motion voice, Ian has not trusted poor Pooh.
Erin is happily ignorant of Pooh's Hyde character and enjoys him now and then. She probably would enjoy him more without Ian's theatrics.
Last night, on NY's Eve, I went to a dear friend's house, our friend Brian's mother. The kids love her, since she has a recliner, willing arms, and two huge buckets of toys. I love her because she is amazing and it would be a neat thing to pick up a trick or ten from her in the kitchen. We like to watch the Hallmark channel (she has satellite and we have one channel, PBS) and HDTV for the home renovation shows. Anyway, I brought over boiled peanuts that we had frozen from our Thanksgiving trip to FL. No one from around here has heard of boiled peanuts. The general consensus seems to be "Who in tarnation would want to eat a soggy peanut?" Well, everyone tried them, but my friend Donna was the only one who ate more than one. She says it tastes like a bean and it's not bad. So ha! Soggy indeed! :)
Happy New Year. This year I will try more new things, like oven cleaning and fan dusting. :)